In his book, Harris also urges Christian singles to commit to "purposeful singleness," as romantic relationships should exist only as a means to preparing for marriage."I was young, I was religiously zealous, I was certain, and I was restlessly ambitious," Harris recalled."In today's world, we spend so much energy being right and proving others wrong," he says in the talk's description.
I was writing to fellow Christians, I was saying, 'We need to be serious about our faith, we won't have sex until we're married, and if we want to avoid premarital sex, we should radically change our lifestyle, and that means we should stop dating.'" The book quickly became a staple among the Christian community, selling over 1.2 million copies and propelling Harris to instant fame.Some men and women have publicly shared their negative experiences with “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” Some failed relationships even made .Harris has invited other readers to share their stories through his website as he rereads his books and reconsiders his arguments."I didn't leave room for the idea that dating could be a healthy way of learning what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, that it could be a part of growing personally," he said."I gave the impression that there was one formula that you could follow, and if you followed that, you'd be happily married, God would bless you, and you'd have a great sex life and marriage." He added, "Obviously, the real world doesn't work that way." However, the 42-year-old pastor and author said what he regrets most is the fact that he transferred the fear inside of him to his writing. "Fear of messing up, fear of getting your heart broken, fear of hurting somebody else, fear of sex." Harris, who went on to serve as senior pastor of Covenant Life Church for several years, said he finally understood the problems in his book after he stopped being the pastor of a large church and went to graduate school.