It's mighty old-fashioned to be so demure with a new guy that you don't reveal your true wishes for what you want out of life.
In the past, you may have been told to keep your desire to have children, for example, under wraps out of fear that you might scare away a guy who isn't quite ready to settle down yet.
A better rule: "Let the connection between the two of you develop, and allow sex to happen organically," says Dr.
Lewandowski, whether that takes a week, a month or more.
Following this rule is, in addition to being outdated, dishonest and disingenuous.
You can search for people based on a few different sets of criteria, such as: And so much more.
But that sort of thinking might cause you to overlook the quiet-but-intriguing guy whose company you enjoy even though you don't feel a spark just yet.
A better rule: "Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially," says Dr. "It can develop after you've known someone for a while." That said, adds Dr. " If you're truly not feeling it, it's better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare. Don't reveal your desire for children, a new career or any other life goal.
"You have to let go of the old relationship, and when that will happen is not the same for everyone," says Dr. For more advice about figuring out how to navigate the dating scene after a divorce, click here. These days, not only are you not a jobless youngster, but you might be more financially secure than your date.
Not to mention that you may not want to be beholden to him either.