Confessions of an online dating queen

I’ve had the privilege of using my podcast “#Safe Word Society” to gauge how other QTPOC are navigating the dating world and the consensus seems bleak. An opinion developed from being privy to experiences of friends and podcast guests and years of lurking on the outskirts.Apparently, people are still heavily using apps to compartmentalize their connections and barely make an effort to meet IRL. As a feminine-presenting queer woman who dates women exclusively, navigating the dating scene can be pretty exhausting and downright disparaging.Needless to say, that’s the kind of landscape I remember gladly leaving behind and, well, here I am.

Honestly speaking, I’d also just gotten out of something serious and could almost identify with her sentiment, but the idea of “options” seemed overwhelming.

I mean, I’m sure people are finding love connections through the App Store and congratulations to you… I don’t know what “old-fashioned” dating is like for everyone, but I personally don’t want to swipe on you and cross my fingers that you’ll swipe back. Years ago, I remember feeling the need to constantly convince men that I wasn’t interested and that dick pics wouldn’t push me over that hump.

A few years later you propose with a card that reads, “I’m so glad that you swiped when you did. How about having to deal with women who assumed wearing lipstick meant my head never left the pillow?

For a moment, I was excited about the possibility of starting over and the process of meeting people.

Now, I’ve become the single friend and, in the most dramatic sense, I’m completely unprepared.

Leave a Reply